Step 1: Get the right attitude

You need to stop thinking of learning a language as learning history or biology. Going to class, taking notes, studying at home. It is much more like learning to play a musical instrument, or training for a marathon. You can only learn by doing it. A lot. Slowly building up your muscle memory and your stamina. But you have to spend time and effort on it, going to a class once a week is not enough.

Rethink what you want from your teacher

The first thing you have to do is realise that nobody can learn for you. Just like with building muscles, you have to put in the hard work. Stop thinking about your teacher as someone who teaches you the language. Think of your teacher as someone who tells you what and how to practice. As someone who helps you set and revise your training goals and give you feedback on your practice.

Wanting a teacher to “teach you” is like wanting your personal trainer to do the exercises for you. Your teacher will tell you what to practice but you have to do the heavy lifting. You should start thinking of your teacher as your coach instead.

Rethink what you want to do in the classroom

If the process of learning a language is like going to the gym, the classroom is NOT the gym. You can get enough exercise to build your real muscles in the gym. But you cannot do that in the language classroom. It might work if you had a private tutor who would meet with you five times a week, but not with 10 other people in the class once a week. No matter how much group work you do, it is not enough.

Classroom is NOT where you learn or practice. Classroom is where you get feedback on how well you’re doing, where you get assignments for further practice and motivation from your teacher. The classroom is also great to get feedback and motivation from your classmates. See how they are doing, be motivated by their successes and learn from their struggles.

Rethink how you use the textbook

Textbooks are great. They give you structure, path to follow, goals and the tools you need. But why do we need so many? Why do so many people feel the need to write the best textbook? That’s because all teachers know, textbooks are not perfect. They can hurt your learning as much as help. They are a security blanket for the student but that is because they hide all the work that has to be done.

You should use textbooks to get dialogues, vocabulary, grammar and some exercises. But remember that all textbooks are aimed at the slightly below average student in a typical language classroom. If you’re using deliberate practice to build up your language muscle, you are not an average student. Worst of all, textbooks give you just enough practice to fill two hours a week of class time with a little bit of homework in between. That is not enough. There are never enough exercises, never quite enough words.

It may feel that there is a lot already in every textbook lesson but that’s because they don’t expect you to practice. Put in the necessary time to really get good. Build up the speaking, reading and writing muscles. So you should always look at every lesson in a textbook not as a target to meet but as a target to exceed. By a lot. At the end of it, you want it to feel completely trivial, not something where you still don’t quite get it.

Think about how you learn

People who succeed don’t just practice and get better. They’re constantly reflecting on their learning process. They stop, think and evaluate. Am I practicing the right way? Am I developing what I know? Am I practicing the right thing? Very often, your teacher or your coach can help you. But you can also be your own coach.

Most successful learners are constantly thinking about the learning process. They always keep half an eye on how the learning process is going. They don’t just think about whether they are learning but also how they are learning. They form theories and they test them. They change and revise. They don’t get stuck doing something one way. They don’t continue learning the same way just because it worked for the last thing they learned. They want to learn the way that is best for what they want to achieve in the future.

You may already have a preconceived notion of what kind of a learner you are. Many people say things like “I’m a visual learner”. They’re almost certainly not. The research on this turned out to be flawed. But even if it were true, learning is so complex that nobody can summarise their learning style by saying they are just one thing. Don’t try to label yourself, you’re not taking a Which-Harry-Potter-Character-Are-You quiz.

What you need to do is look at your strategies. There is a whole inventory of them, start there. You need to evaluate the strategies and how well they work for you on a particular task. Don’t judge them just by how you feel during them the first time, judge them by how well they work in a week or in a month. For example, listening without seeing something written is hard, but that’s how you have conversation or listen to directions. So figure out a way to do it. Don’t hide behind your preference. But don’t ignore it either.

Get ready for the feels

Learning anything is an emotional business. Learning a language even more so. The way we speak is who we are. We don’t use language like a tool for speaking. We use it to express our innermost selves. Even when we’re asking directions or ordering coffee, we are still ourselves and we want people to see us that way. And when we can’t speak like ourselves we’re uncomfortable, we feel that the world sees a caricature of us.

The most successful language learners are those who can imagine themselves as somebody else. Almost like acting a role. But you don’t have to be an actor to learn a language. You just have to use some of the same techniques. Imagine you’re someone else, let go of your inhibitions a bit. Especially when you’re learning pronunciation and intonation.

But it is true even when you’re trying to speak about yourself, where you live, what you do, what you like. At first, it will feel like you’re a child again, you can’t express the simplest but at the same time the most important things. Who you are and what you want. You will have those feelings. Frustration, humiliation, desperation. They can be dispiriting. It’s much safer to say “I’m not good at language learning” and give up. But you can also use these feelings to motivate you to get better.

There’s nothing anybody can tell you not to have these sorts of feelings. You will have them; sometimes just a little and sometimes a lot. But you will be able to cope with them better, if you know they’re coming. And that you will get over them as you get better. You should also know that you won’t be the only one. Talk with your peers, find out how they’re coping. Learn from each other.

Then there’s the struggle with the learning process itself. There will be times when you’re practicing something and it will feel like it’s not going in, like you’re never going to learn it. That never feels good. It’s frustrating but may also make you feel bad about yourself. Feel like you’re stupid. That also happens to everyone, all the time. So here’s a new mantra for you adapted from the virtuoso bassist Victor Wooten:

When you practice something and can’t get it right, don’t stop. Don’t think about how bad you feel now. Think about how great you’ll feel next week, when you’ll be able to do it and won’t even remember what it was like not to.